


If We Had To Choose

by Anonymous



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Persona 4
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - No Personas (Persona Series), Alternate Universe - Souji isn't a Chad, Be More Chill au, Character Study, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Don't Have to Know Canon, F/M, M/M, No Spoilers, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Souji is super awkward in fact, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 07:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21388549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: When Yosuke held up the grey pill and hesitated, Souji should’ve stopped him. But, being the supportive friend he always was, he simply smiled and said, ‘Good luck, partner’.It was no use thinking about it now. Souji had lost the only true friend he had ever had in a world full of people that were too shallow to form genuine bonds. One day, as he roams around Yasogami High’s hallways, trying to survive all by himself, he runs into none other than Yosuke’s all-time crush, Saki Konishi.You don't need to know about Be More Chill or Persona 4 to understand this fic.
Relationships: Hanamura Yosuke/Konishi Saki, Konishi Saki & Seta Souji, One-Sided Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16
Collections: Anonymous





	If We Had To Choose

Souji didn’t understand why it was so hard for him to make friends.

Wherever he went, every time his parents moved to another city, he did everything he could to be the perfect friend, the ideal friend, that one friend anyone would like to have. Souji always did his best to treat others as they would like to be treated, according to their respective personalities. He wasn’t the most talkative person around, but, to make up for it, he was working on his diligence and knowledge, so other people would notice him, and he always strived to be understanding, expressive, and courageous, so he would be ready to help everyone around him whenever they needed it. Because of that, he constantly ran errands, worked part-time jobs, volunteered for school projects, and filled up his schedule with all kinds of activities to improve himself and meet new people. After all, Souji wanted nothing more than to be able to support his friends, so he would never, never have to be alone again.

But he always failed. There was something about Souji that always seemed to put people off. Maybe it was his intense stare, his uncomfortable silences, his blunt sincerity, his hobbies, or the fact that he simply didn’t click with others his age, but, whatever it was, it was preventing him from making true friends. Thus, he never had anything more than a few casual acquaintances, fake friends, and the occasional person who relied on him when they needed a favor but then magically disappeared. And, to top it all off, before he could deepen these relationships and form a meaningful bond with anyone, his parents always announced that he had to move away. Again. It happened _every single time._ And so, Souji always lost contact with the people he had met and lost any progress he had made. He always had to start over.

But, all things considered, that was beneficial to him in a way. If he moved to a city where no one knew him, he was basically a blank slate, so he could act however he liked and improve on the mistakes he had made last time. His new potential friends wouldn’t know anything about him. They wouldn’t be able to judge him on his obsession with stray cats, or origami, or cooking, or fishing, or eating grass… Okay, admittedly, that last one was weird. But if he could prevent people from finding out about his shortcomings, then maybe he still had a shot at making true friends for once and for all. He’d already messed up countless times over the years, but someday it would be different. Someday, he would get his chance.

He finally got his chance when he moved to Inaba to live with his uncle Dojima and his cousin Nanako. But he didn’t take it. He had been waiting for this for so long, and yet… Once he was in the spot, he refused to take the opportunity.

You see, on his first day of class at Yasogami High, crowds of students approached Souji with various intents. In a small city like Inaba, the arrival of a transfer student was a huge deal, so Souji got much more attention than he expected. All at once, he met the most popular girls and the hottest guys in the whole school, and all of them seemed to want to recruit Souji into their social circles. Honestly, it was really tempting to give in to their demands. If he played his cards well, he could become the single most popular guy in the whole city and have connections to every single one of the most influential students of the school, which would mean he wouldn’t be alone ever again for as long as he lived in Inaba.

It was a ticket to easy fame. But, even as much as he hated being alone, was he willing to trade genuine bonds for something as shallow as that?

All of those people were fishing for sex, or money, or one-sided favors, after all. None of them wanted real relationships and none of them cared about each other, because they were all just looking out for themselves. Most of them made it pretty clear as soon as they met Souji. He could’ve ignored it and acted as if that was fine, but he knew it wasn’t.

Not wanting to become a two-faced liar, he refused all of the offers and became a social outcast almost automatically, all because he had _“rejected everything a Yasogami student could ever ask for”_. The popular girls who had tried to win his affections turned his back on him, while the guys began acting as if he had never existed in the first place. Anyone else would’ve regretted his choice, but Souji felt like he had dodged a bullet. He could’ve been the most popular person in Inaba if only he had ignored his moral compass for a split second, but, for him, it was way more valuable to form genuine bonds with the people who actually mattered.

Which is why, when Yosuke chose to throw away their friendship in exchange for some popularity, it hurt like hell. It felt like Souji had been stabbed in the back by the only person he’d ever considered a true friend.

No, no, that wasn’t entirely true. Souji had to get himself together. He hadn’t lost his best friend, not yet. Yosuke had _not_ betrayed him, at least not voluntarily, and he knew it. This wasn’t like Yosuke at all, so the Squip must’ve influenced him. Of course, Souji had no evidence going for it, but there was something really sketchy about the whole thing. He had a feeling that the Squip was nothing but trouble, but that couldn’t be helped when even the simple idea of a nanocomputer that implants on your brain and tells you what to do sounds suspicious. And then there was that woman in a blue dress who did tarot readings and who had advised Souji to stay on guard… Not that Souji was superstitious, but he had to admit that he was desperate and didn’t know who to trust anymore.

Maybe he was overthinking it. Maybe the Squip thing was none of his business. Still, Souji couldn’t let matters rest because it simply wasn’t in his nature to remain calm when he knew that his friend could be in danger, even if Yosuke insisted that he didn’t need help. He had to be prepared for anything. If Yosuke did happen to be in danger because of his carelessness, Souji had to back him up, no matter what. Wasn’t that what partners were for?

Souji took a deep breath. He had to calm down, remain rational, and go over the facts. What _did_ he know about the Squip?

Well, he knew it was a nanocomputer that was meant to help its user become popular. It was a national product and it was contained in a grey pill that could be obtained from a shady dealer at Okina City. For some reason, though, Souji couldn’t find any information about it on the Internet. Once he realized his search wasn’t yielding any results, he tried asking his uncle, but Dojima only grew pale, started stumbling over his words, and sternly warned Souji to not do any drugs. So it could be assumed that the police was aware of the smuggling, but they had no clues and no way to fight back against the culprits.

The only lead Souji really had was Kanji Tatsumi, who had told Yosuke about the Squip in the first place. But it wasn’t like Souji could just approach him, because he’d already tried and he’d only been brushed off with way more aggressiveness than was necessary. It was no secret that Kanji tended to exhibit violent behavior, but Souji didn’t understand why he had been threatened with a punch to the face just for trying to start a conversation. Seriously, what was with that? Souji only wanted some information so he could protect his friend in the case of an emergency.

It didn’t help that Yosuke was giving him the cold shoulder. And it didn’t help either that the two things Souji could focus on these days were Yosuke and the Squip.

And it _definitely_ didn’t help that his feet had dragged him towards the drama club after a long day of school when he should be heading home. While he was distracted, he had unconsciously wandered all the way towards the drama club, as mindlessly as if he was simply heading to the kitchen for a midnight snack at home. Why was he there? He had no business with that club, so why was he here of all places? Standing in the middle of the hallway, blocking the entrance to the club couldn’t do Souji, or anyone else, for that matter, any good. So why? Why did he want to be there so badly?

Souji must’ve liked to torture himself. There was simply no other explanation for this.

Well, since he was already there, he might as well give into the temptation.

Thanks to his height, Souji effortlessly glanced through the door’s window and into the clubroom. It was nearly empty, though, so all he saw was a tall girl with long, dark hair sitting on a chair and waiting for her peers. No signs of Yosuke. Go figure. He did join the drama club to speak to his crush, so of course he wasn’t in any rush to get there before her. Souji sighed, feeling a bit disappointed. Not seeing Yosuke might’ve been for the best, but it made Souji feel like an idiot because he was standing around in the hallway and possibly exposing himself to public scorn for nothing.

Souji stepped back, but he couldn’t gather the energy to turn around and leave just yet. Huh. He really, really wanted to see Yosuke. Scratch that. He _needed_ to see Yosuke. As irritated as he was at him for the whole Squip deal, Souji still cared a lot about him and he had to make sure he was alright. And, to be honest… he kinda missed him.

Oh.

Shit. _He was in too deep._

“Excuse me?” A soft, female voice said. “Hey… Are you okay?”

Souji turned around to see his senior, Saki Konishi. Right, he was blocking the entrance to the drama club, so he should’ve expected something like this to happen. But to think that the one to snap him out of his reverie would be Yosuke’s crush, of all people.

“Yeah. Sorry.” He mumbled, stepping back to let her through.

Saki didn’t go in immediately. Souji kinda wished she had, so he could’ve been spared the embarrassment, but she simply stood there in front of the door, blinking at him with a vague expression on her face. “... Do I know you? Hm… Oh, I know. You’re that guy who shops at Junes all the time!”

That was actually more embarrassing than it should. Sure, Saki worked part-time at Junes, so it was very likely that she had seen Souji there hanging out with Yosuke or shopping with Nanako, but the fact that she didn’t recognize him as a Yasogami student was a bit concerning. Or maybe it was because Souji had heard tons of things about Saki, so it made him uncomfortable to realize that she didn’t even know his name. Had Yosuke never mentioned him during their conversations? 

Souji almost rolled his eyes at himself. What was the point of asking that? Of course Yosuke didn’t think about him as much as he thought about Yosuke. He really, really had to stop getting his hopes up.

“My younger sister, Nanako, loves Junes, so I take her there very often.” He said. No need to mention he had been visiting more often as of late for obvious reasons.

“That’s great.” Saki chuckled. “Have you seen the October discounts yet? You should check them out.”

“Yeah, I have. Nanako never misses them.”

“That’s nice.” Saki looked away awkwardly. “It’s strange, you know. I see you around all the time, but I didn’t know we went to the same school. I mean, I wasn’t sure if you were a student. What’s your name?”

“Seta Souji. I’m a second year.”

“Konishi Saki. Third year.” She flashed one of her tired, but gentle smiles. “Nice to meet you. Anyways, rehearsal should be starting soon, so I better get going.”

Saki was about to open the door, but Souji reacted before she could take another step. “Wait. Can I ask you something real quick?”

She seemed taken by surprise. “Ah.” She chuckled nervously. “I actually don’t know much about the discounts…”

“It’s not the discounts I want to talk about.” Souji said. Damn, no wonder Yosuke had feelings for her. Unlike most of the Junes part-timers, she took her job pretty seriously, even if it was driving her family out of business. That diligence might’ve been what initially attracted Yosuke, especially when the rest of the town was giving him so much shit because of Junes itself. How ironic. “You’re in drama club with Yosuke, right? Have you talked to him recently?”

“Yes, I have. He never misses a rehearsal. He’s _so_ dedicated... Why?”

“No reason. I just want to know how he’s doing.”

Saki’s face suddenly lit up. “Ohhh, right. I had a feeling I had seen you somewhere other than at Junes. “You’re that transfer student who always used to hang out with Hana-chan during lunch. Are you two boyfriends?”

Well, that was straightforward. Might as well reply by the same token.

“I’m not sure we’re even ‘friends’ anymore.” Souji said.

“Now that you mention it, it has been a while since I last saw you guys together… Did something happen?”

“It’s nothing to worry about. I just wanted to make sure there’s someone he can rely on while we solve our… differences. I don’t know how you feel about Yosuke, but I know he trusts you a lot, so you seemed like the best person to ask. Sorry if I’m bothering you.”

“It’s not a bother.” She said. “He’s been very nice to me lately.”

Souji couldn’t help but feel relieved. Sure, he was upset because Yosuke didn’t want to hang out with him at all anymore, but, in part, he was proud that his partner was finally getting the attention he deserved. “That’s good to hear.”

“Don’t tell Hana-chan I said this, but...” Saki blushed a light pink. Souji was confused. Since when did she behave this way while talking about Yosuke? What had he missed? Souji nodded, giving Saki the encouragement to continue.

“I used to think he was sort of annoying.” She said. “I didn’t like how he was always poking his nose into other people’s business and I was angry at his family for the whole Junes thing. But then, he… he changed. He became more confident, independent, and less... clingy… Do you get what I mean?” She giggled.

Damn. Souji hated to admit it, but he had to hand it to the Squip. Turning someone’s opinion around like that in such a short amount of time was pretty impressive.

“I’m sure drama club helped you get to know him better.” He said.

“You’re right. I had a wrong impression of him, because I never realized how caring he was.” Saki stopped for a moment and smiled at Souji warmly. “Don’t worry, Seta-kun. I’ll look after him until you guys sort everything out, alright?”

“Hey! Saki-senpai!” A loud voice interrupted Souji before he could answer. “You’re early as always. Early bird catches the worm, huh?”

Yosuke was nearly running down the hallway to meet Saki, who seemed just as glad to see him, for a change. Their relationship had changed so much since Souji last talked to his partner that he could barely believe his eyes.

“Hana-chan! Yes, I guess I was in a bit of a hurry.” She giggled yet again. “Is that weird?”

“No, not at all! It’s very encouraging, senpai.” Yosuke winked. “It makes me even more excited for rehearsal.”

There was a silence. Yosuke and Saki suddenly seemed to run out of things to say, so they just stared at each other with a silly grin on each of their faces. Was this Souji’s chance to intervene and catch Yosuke’s attention? Maybe it was useless to try, but Souji wanted to believe that maybe it wasn’t.

“Partner--” 

“Oh, we should wait inside, Senpai.” Yosuke interrupted. “Just in case King Moron comes and yells at us for standing in the doorway.”

The fact that Yosuke hadn’t even glanced at Souji physically hurt him. It seemed like it had been years since they last spoke, since they were inseparable, and since they had promised to have each other’s back through thick and thin. Souji had given Yosuke everything he had to offer because he meant the world to him, but it was clear that his partner didn’t treasure their friendship like he did. The worst part was that he couldn’t tell why was Yosuke giving him the silent treatment. Usually, when one of his temporary relationships failed, he could pinpoint exactly where he had gone wrong, but this time it was different. Even if his theory was right and the Squip was the one behind the idea, Souji couldn’t begin to understand why it had come up with it in the first place. Why did Yosuke have to forget him in his road to becoming popular? Souji didn’t want to think that he had been a burden to Yosuke during all this time, or that he had been dragging him down, but there was no other way around it. And the fact that Yosuke had never brought it up and that he hadn’t thought about even talking it out with Souji was even more alienating. He never really cared about Souji’s feelings, did he…?

Saki looked at Souji helplessly, before deciding that she’d rather not get too involved in whatever was happening. Souji didn’t blame her, considering there was nothing she could do. “Good idea.” She said.

Yosuke went into the clubroom and held the door open for Saki, but she hesitated. She signalled for Yosuke to go on without her before looking at Souji one more time. “Thanks. It was nice to open up about my feelings for a while.”

“Same.”

Saki seemed amused, as if she hadn’t perceived Souji’s openness. Still, she continued. “Are you going to be at the party?”

“What party?”

“The Halloween party at Daisuke’s house. I heard it’s going to be pretty big. You should go and vent a bit; it might make you feel better.”

Souji had no idea about the party, much less had he been invited. But maybe Saki was right. No matter how stoic he acted all of the time, he also needed to vent from time to time like everyone else. “I’ll think about it.”

Saki smiled once more, as if she pitied him. “Alright. I hope to see you there.”

With those words, Saki followed in Yosuke’s footsteps and disappeared into the clubroom. There was no reason for Souji to stay there any longer, so he immediately turned around and decided to head home. He wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or worried, but one thing was certain: he wasn’t the only one who had noticed the change that had been brought forth by the Squip. It was clear that it was a very powerful AI. If anything were to happen to Yosuke, Souji would be completely helpless, with all the odds stacked against him. All he could do for the moment was to keep asking around and see if anyone else could provide him with any insight on how the Squip worked, what were its motivations, and how it had ended up in a 17-year-old’s hands.

Out of that short chat with Saki, however, there was something else that had stuck with Souji. The party. He hadn’t been invited, sure, but he wanted to show up. No, he _was_ going to show up. After all, Souji was terrified of being alone, and, even if Yosuke didn’t do as much as speak to him anymore, there was no way he could ever be alone at a party. At the very least, a party would allow him to maintain a low profile and make small talk with some of the nicer people in the school.

Souji smiled. His life had been turned upside down in the last few weeks, but, maybe, a party was just what he needed to lift his spirits.

He’d have to count on that, for his own sake.

**Author's Note:**

> My friends recently got me into Be More Chill, but because I'm Persona trash, I couldn't help but comparing everything to Persona. And thus, this idea was born! Or rather, this fanfic was born from ideas I had for animatics involving BMC and Persona 4. I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> I’m sorry if this is a bit messy. I find Souji, Yosuke, and Saki really hard to write. Maybe I should've written BMC characters in a P4 setting instead, lol. Or maybe I'll do that anyways in another one-shot if I feel like it. Who knows?
> 
> As a side note, I normally use "Yu Narukami", but let’s be honest. "Souji in the bathroom" sounds a lot better than "Yu in the bathroom". Yeah, that's the only reason I chose that name. And every time I think about Souji singing the line "And all you know about me is my name", the irony kills me, so that’s a plus.


End file.
